Scientists say that temperatures are rising, ice caps are melting, and the ozone layer is thinning due to global warming. However, this research still can’t explain why the temperature in my freezer is consistently a crisp -4 degrees Celsius.

Many scientists from big universities such as Harvard and Yale keep warning that greenhouse gas emissions trap the sun’s heat, increasing temperatures around the world. This explanation is all dandy, but I wonder if these scientists want to come to my house and hang out in my freezer to see if it gets any warmer. Here’s a hint: it doesn’t!

All these scientists with their fancy degrees are all like, “You have to cool the world down, it’s too hot in here. There will be pandemics…cities will flood… animals will dieeeeeee.. :(.” That’s all great, but until the ice cream in my freezer melts from all this “warming” these scientists should take a massive chill pill.

Why don’t the scientists open their freezers and use their expensive science to measure the temperature there? It’s going to be -4 degrees Celsius because global warming can’t explain the temperature in my freezer. Take that, science!