“I sincerely thought I was all out of these things,” said Jason (M2019), “I mean, every day my professors ask me for opinions on things I simply don’t understand or care about. This whole semester I’ve been throwing out opinions left and right. I’ve never had a lot of them, but these past few weeks I’ve really been down on my luck. Heck, sometimes I just start talking and see where the sentence ends in hopes I’ll find a new opinion along the way.”

Jason went on to describe how, while writing an assignment late Sunday night, he used his last opinion to finish the assignment at 10:58pm.

“After that, I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it through the rest of the semester,” Jason told Meekly reporters.

It was late Thursday night while Jason was “cleaning” his room — a process he describes as “really just kinda pushing the piles of stuff on the floor to a different spot with my foot” — when he saw it.

“It was this glowing light coming from underneath a pile of socks. I tried to get a better look at it, but those socks are like, really dirty, and I didn’t want to touch them, so I used one of my roommate’s t-shirts lying around as a glove to reach in.”

Jason tearfully recounted the moment he realized that his discovery was, in fact, a fresh opinion, “I just…phew. I mean, times have been really tough this semester, and this…this gift. Let’s just say it’s a true Christmas miracle.”

When asked how he planned to use his newfound opinion, Jason replied, “Oh, I’ll definitely be saving this baby for a final. Or I’ll just fire it off at a town hall and see if anyone hears it. We’ll see.”

We wish Jason and his opinion all the best of luck.

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